Caring for Siblings in Neurodiverse Families: 4 Ways to Support Your Child
Brynn Bleaman, B.S.
Parenting in a neurodiverse family comes with many moving pieces, and there is no “right” way to meet every child’s needs. Families do the best they can with the resources, energy, and information available to them at any given moment. Along the way, it can be helpful to pause and gently consider how siblings of neurodivergent children may be feeling and what they are experiencing! Siblings of neurodivergent children often feel a mix of different emotions, and supporting them does not mean doing more; it means noticing, listening, and responding with care, when possible. In this article, we are sharing four tips to support your child. Read on for more information!
Making Space for Emotions
Siblings of neurodivergent children may experience a wide range of feelings about the family, themselves, or their sibling, including frustration, confusion, pride, love, or even multiple, conflicting emotions all at the same time! These feelings are all valid!
Offering your child space to talk can help them feel supported. Listening with curiosity and without judgment allows your child to share openly. Gentle validation can sound like:
“That makes a lot of sense.”
“I’m really happy you told me that.”
“It’s okay to feel many different feelings.”
Creating Opportunities For One-On-One Time
When family life is busy, intentional one-on-one time can help siblings feel connected and special. This doesn’t have to be anything elaborate, though it can be. Small, intentional moments can be just as meaningful! Letting your child choose the activity and giving them your full attention, even briefly, can help strengthen your relationship and allow them to feel seen. During this time, focusing on your child’s interests reminds them that they have the space to be who they are, as they are!
Consider External and Additional Support
Some children benefit from connecting with others who share similar experiences. Sibling support groups, playgroups, or informal connections can help normalize their feelings and experiences! Therapy can also be a great, supportive option for some families. A mental health counselor can offer a safe space for children to talk through their experiences and build coping skills. These supports are tools, not requirements, and families can pick and implement what feels right and works for them.
Allow Your Kid to be a Kid!
Many siblings naturally want to help and care for their neurodivergent sibling. While this compassion is so special, it’s also important that children are not carrying responsibilities beyond their capacity.
Gently reminding your child that they are not responsible for taking care of their sibling’s needs can help alleviate some pressure. Instead, you can encourage your child to focus on things they can control, such as their own behaviors. Supporting their interests and independence allows them to grow in their own way and at their own pace.
All in all, there is no one “right” way to parent! We hope you found these tips helpful!
